


Fool

by ChokolatteJedi



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Canon Het Relationship, Consensual Violence, Death, Dubious Consent, F/M, Falling In Love, Love, Love/Hate, Past Relationship(s), Relationship(s), Season/Series 07, Unrequited Love, Vampire Turning, Vampires
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-03-26
Updated: 2009-03-26
Packaged: 2017-10-21 18:38:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/228363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChokolatteJedi/pseuds/ChokolatteJedi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Spike thinks about his long track record with women</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fool

Spike wasn't sure why, but he had a nasty habit of falling in love with girls who would hurt him. He had tried to think of a better way to phrase it - a way that didn't make him sound like a sodding pansy, but there were really no better words.

First it had been Cecily - the apparently prefect girl that an innocent young William had worshiped from afar. The girl he had worked so hard to impress over and over again, much to the scorn of his peers. The girl who sent her betrothed and her three older brothers after him as punishment for thinking himself worthy of someone like her.

Cecily had been the first one to hurt him, but not his first love. Centuries after her two deaths, the last words his mother had spoken to him still haunted his nightmares.

 _Strange. Burden. Stupid. Worthless._

And then there was Dru, who had taken him to the greatest heights of both pleasure and pain - sometimes simultaneously. She had turned him into a vampire, which was the most agonizing thing he had experienced up until that point in his life. At the same time, though, she gave him hope for his mother's recovery. Then she had mocked him when the demon who replaced his mother turned against him.

Sweet, tantalizing Drusilla, who claimed to love him more than anything, but still ran to Angelus's side whenever the other vampire entered their lives. Drusilla, who said she loved him, made him love her, and then left him.

It was after Dru broke his heart (not that he'd admit that to anyone, barring that drunken confession to the little redhead) that Spike took up with Harmony. At first he thought that Harm was the perfect rebound girl for him. Yes, she was dumber than a brick and chattered entirely too much, but he didn't love her, so he thought that she would never be able to hurt him.

He was wrong.

Harmony put up with him - with the horrible way he treated her - for far longer than he expected, but eventually even she turned on him too. She actually stood up to him and walked out, leaving him alone again. And as much as Spike claimed to enjoy the silence left in her wake, there was a little voice in the back of his mind that taunted, "You can't even hold on to a girl like Harmony. Not even worth the effort of staking but still better than you. Pathetic. Failure."

So Spike swore he was done. He put all thoughts of women out of his mind, except for the slayer. He focused all his energy on defeating the little blonde bitch who had beaten him so many times.

By the time he realized how much he actually cared for her, it was too late. He was done for. And, looking down at the petite blonde asleep in his arms, blissfully escaping from the pending apocalypse in a few hours of slumber, Spike knew, somehow, that she would hurt him more than all the others combined.


End file.
